I tossed and turned until I finally gave in and opened my eyes to look at the clock.
It was only 2:30 a.m. My mind was an imaginary race track, and I was anticipating the moment the anxiety, panic, and shame would come thundering around the bend.
For years, I’ve had nights like this, lying awake, steeped in worry. One of the most reliable subjects of distress? Money.
Thoughts of money, or rather the lack of it, would find me in the darkness, pulling me into a downward spiral, pumping adrenaline and cortisol into my nervous system, causing waves of distress, failure, and loneliness. It always took concentrated attention and long, slow breaths to calm myself down enough to fall back to sleep.