“Instead of judging others as people who ought to be behaving in a certain way, see them as reflecting a part of you, and ask yourself what it it you are ready to learn from them?
~ Wayne Dyer
We’re just a few days after a full moon lunar eclipse in the sign of Libra. Libra is all about balance: who am I, in relation to the other (him/her/them). This “other” can be anything (a job, or a collective idea) but it’s pretty heavily weighted in the area of relationships because Libra rules the 7th House which is about mutually beneficial relationships and interaction. Even though the actual eclipse was on Tuesday, we will continue to work on issues that relate to this until the next eclipse season in the fall. I’ve noticed this theme throughout my personal relationships in the last few weeks. I kept expecting the people in my life to show up in a certain way or a different way for me, and they just weren’t.
As a result, I’ve felt pretty let down and resentful. My line of thinking sounded like this: “If they really loved me then they would pay more attention to me.” I felt like I was running myself ragged trying to meet their needs and they weren’t meeting mine at all. (note- this is a common theme in my life so it’s no surprise that it shows up strongly in the shadow of this Libran lunar full moon eclipse). And of course what ever is going on in my personal life also seems to be what’s going on in the lives of my clients and my friends so I thought I would write a little about it.
How do I meet the needs of others while still getting my own needs met?
So this idea of asking what any situation is reflecting about you is an important one because your personal reality is always a reflection of your inner one. If I’m feeling that people aren’t paying enough, or the right kind of attention to me… it means that on some level, I’m not paying enough attention to me either.
The things we want so desperately from ‘the other’ is the very thing we aren’t giving ourselves. We have to give it to ourselves. The love we seek is our own love. We can look to outside sources all day and even if we think we find it, it never feels as good as we had hoped it would. Because what we seek can’t be found out there, it has to be found within.
So ask yourself, “where are the people in my life letting me down? What are they not delivering?” And then take the answer you get and turn it into a statement “I don’t give myself ___________”
We have to get present to the truth of the situation in order to shift it. When I look at the idea of not giving myself attention, I see that it’s absolutely accurate. I “run myself ragged” trying show up for other people the way I wish they would show up for me. Guess whose needs I end up ignoring? My own. I have a false idea that tells me: If I give them what they need, they will give me what I need in return” Then I put their needs above my own because I’m so desperate for what they can give me. It never works. Never.
Full moons are all about release and it’s helpful to come up with something that you’d like to work on releasing from your life. I’ve chosen to work on releasing the idea that I can only get what I need from someone else and focus on ways I can instead get what I need from myself.
I suggest you try something similar, right now is a potent time to do it. As always if you’d like to go deeper and need some support in doing so, I am currently taking new clients. Sign up for a complimentary Clarity Call where we can talk for 15 minutes about whats going on and see if we’re a good fit for each other. You can sign up here: http://nathaperkins.com (scroll to the bottom of the page)