I help people change. My clients come to me because there are aspects of their lives that don’t feel good, and so we work together so they can learn how to change them.
But sometimes it’s really hard to change. I speak from experience about that. I’ve been on a journey of self discovery for 20 years now. When I was about 18, I started seeing things about myself that I didn't just want to change, things that were imperative to change. Somehow I knew early on that I simply wasn’t willing to be in my own life and my own skin and be the person I was. Or rather, I wanted to be the person I was, without all the extra weight. Because things like resentment and righteousness, those things will weigh you right down.
Some of my changes came easily, some took years. Some are still taking years. I’m so lucky that the people that come into my life are the exact people I need to help me do that changing. As totally annoying as being triggered can be, every single time someone pisses me off or hurts my feelings, it gives me the opportunity to look at myself through the lens of that frustration and gather clues about the things I’d like to change.
I’ll say it again, change isn’t easy. And it isn’t always forthcoming. Sometimes the same person has to trigger you into anger or hurt 100 times before you’re finally able to make the shift you need to make. Sometimes you need to sit with your sadness or rage for months before the crack that it makes in your soul finally gets big enough for the light to get in. And it takes so long because that’s what you need it to take to really absorb the lesson.
We’re in the land of quick fixes: have a pain, take a pill. So we get a little bit accustomed to to wanting to feel better now. But this journey, the one of self introspection and enlightenment, isn’t a quick fixer. The journey is the point, not the destination. Super annoying to all of us that want to get stuff crossed off of our to-do list and move the hell on, I know.
My point though, is to cut yourself some slack. You’re probably never going to be free of things like anger and resentment, but you can learn to understand them. If you’re able to notice when they crop up and see your part in them, that’s where the power lies. The uncomfortable emotions are always trying to show you the ways you’re selling yourself out, or the ways you’ve slipped into defense, like a treasure map. Being able to read that map is where the transformation lies.
So if you’re trying to make some changes in your life and they don’t seem forthcoming, cut yourself some slack. Are you trying to become more aware? Good. Are you willing to begin to feel your emotions and try to understand their origins and your part in them? Good. That’s really all you have to do. The rest of the steps and lessons will present themselves to you in perfect timing.
And as always, if you want support on your journey- sign up for a free Clarity Call with me (scroll to the bottom of the page) and we can see if we’re a good fit for each other.