How Can I Live Without Judgment?

How can I live without judgment?

You can't live without judgment. We use it every day and it’s useful and necessary because without it, we would lose all sense of ourselves. In some spiritual practices, losing all sense of ourselves is a good thing. It helps us to feel the oneness. It give us a very necessary and different perspective than we usually hold (one of being separate and alone.) It helps us feel connected to Source Energy which feels unbelievably relaxing. But without judgment, we wouldn't be able to thrive in this third dimensional reality that we live in. We need to know when to turn the heat on. We need to know when to stop the car and when to go. We need to know how to shop for food and when to phone the doctor. Without judgment (aka discernment) we wouldn't be able to do any of these things.  

Now there’s another form of judgment that you may be talking about, and that’s the one where we use our discernment to condemn the things we don’t like or that make us uncomfortable. It's become trendy in our culture and especially in the spiritual crowd to talk about “releasing judgment."  This can be very healing, especially if you’re holding on to old morals, standards and beliefs that are outdated. Many of us adopt the same beliefs that our families of origin held, but as we get older, we release them because we realize that they aren't actually in alignment with who we are now. In this case, releasing judgement is a good thing.  

On the other hand, although judgment can be painful, it can also be useful. The things we judge in others are the things we judge in ourselves. So we can use our own judgments to develop an awareness of the ways that we are being cruel to ourselves. We can’t change what we can't see, and often we attack ourselves subconsciously for things that we aren’t even aware of.  

So rather than try to live without judgment (which frankly, is impossible), try being curious about it instead. The next time you find yourself judging another harshly for the way they look or act or the things they say, check in. Ask yourself, “Where in my life am I doing the exact same thing as this person is doing, and condemning myself for it?”   

Love, Natha

Please submit your questions (your name will be anonymous) to we@nathaperkins.com